Aging and Death

As I approach my 50th birthday later this year I can't help but think about my personal future and the American way of aging and dying. As many of you already know, my mom is 94 and has been in a nursing home for years. I've watched many of her fellow roommates and friends pass away during that time. I've seen hundreds of people in the three homes she's been in just living out what's left of their lives in solitude with very little contact from anyone other than the staff in most cases. Most of them need help walking if they can at all, help toileting, many need help eating... it's SO sad to look around the room and see that for seemingly MOST people this will be how we end our lives. Scares the HELL outta me, I don't see how or why anyone would want this to be the end of their lives. As I survey the nursing home mom is in I can't help but think ALL those people led vibrant lives at some point, loved, lost, worked, got married, had kids, dreams... and THIS is how it ends? Very sad. One thing I will say is the home she's in is very good. If you ever have to put a loved one in a setting like this check out several facilities and go w/the one w/the best STAFF. It's the people working there that make all the difference.

My father was very different, never went to a facility. Died of a heart attack at home at age 71. Which brings about a whole slew of other thoughts and emotions... 71? That's only 21 years away! Hell, SIXTY is only 10 years away! You wonder why people have mid life crises? All of a sudden it's easy to look back and think "what the hell did I ever do that amounted to anything"? I'm very self critical anyway, but as I age I start to realize a few things that I probably knew all along but didn't really internalize as much as I do now:

1) You become what you think about, so control your thoughts to create the life you want
2) Hold yourself to the highest standards of personal honesty and integrity
3) In decisions where it's head vs heart always follow your heart
4) Let LOVE be the controlling force in your life - find work that you love, hang out with the people you love, there isn't enough time to spend it w/people or in activities you don't like
5) Carpe diem - Seize the day - You only have this instant and now it's gone. A happy life is created by happy moments and the only moment you can control is now.

You get the idea. I'm a creature of routine and sometimes I sit back and think "is this the routine I want to be the bulk of my life? Couldn't I do better than THIS?"... I was looking through the great quotes I posted in another forum and there was dates lived after each quote like Harry Truman 1898-1972, etc... this is what got me thinking about this today...

David Geschke 1959-??

Everyone dies, most of us will have tombstones... we all have the ability to make a difference in people's lives. My resolution this year is to make better decisions to allow me to get to that end date, whenever it is... and know I led an honorable life that made a positive difference in the lives of the people I touch on a daily basis.